Friday, March 12, 2010

Why do we get married?

This topic has come up so often in recent years, more because of the age I guess, but M and I discuss this on weekly basis these days.

Question is why do we get married? Or why should we get married? Can't we be single and continue to live life like we do when we are single?

I sit and ponder often and then observe people around, couples around. One thing I've realized is that life is always more fun and exciting when shared with others. With people around us. Then again, you think, well don't you actually share your life with your parents, siblings?

It is to have someone in life with whom we belong. Someone who is our age. Someone who is different from us in how we were raised in the past, yet similar in how we will be raised in future. Someone we can tell everything to and not be afraid of what they will think. Someone who trusts us and whom we trust, with all our heart, without a single doubt. Someone we like despite of how many bad qualities or shortcomings they have because the good in them is more than enough for us to like them, love them, tolerate them, accept them. Someone we can go ask questions to when we are confused. Someone who is like a parent when we need them and someone who can become like our child when they need to be. Someone who recognizes our shortcomings and helps us overcome them or at least does not let them not bog us down. Someone who stands by us when no one else does or wants to. Someone who tells us stories. Someone who lifts our spirits when we are down. Someone that gets our good qualities out and makes us a better person. Someone who respects and cares like no one else does. Someone who makes our lives worthwhile to live. Someone to hold our hand and walk with us the journey of life. Someone who makes us experience life like we have never experienced it before... btw, this list does continue.

Someone who doesn't boss you around or control you. Someone who doesn't just think of you as a bank account. Someone who doesn't consider you their property or worse, a thing they own. Someone who doesn't treat you like a slave. Someone who respects you and earns and deserves your respect...

Well, imagine all of these people getting bundled up in one. Because they can, depending upon the arising need, they will be able to take up one of the above roles for you. And because parents, siblings, grandparents, children can not do the same thing, they come to our lives.

Now I know why we get married, rather why we should get married.


Kumar Ahir said...

Good thoughts on marriage.
But they look more like checklist to me ! And if you see closely marriage in Indian culture (I am not sure of other) is more than getting two persons together. It's about socialization, families getting together and a community building activity. Well these thoughts are just on lighter side !

chinmai said...

hmm..the question gets of more relevance for arranged indian marriages but for ppl who find for themselves marriage may be the automatic next step..

Kanan said...

Kumar, Thanks! :) They are a checklist. I guess when one reaches 30+ age and the search for a life partner becomes a thought process within us, it comes out as such a list. I was just thinking how much easier it is to get married at a younger age; it's like you are not so much grown up to really *think* about it because it's not a question at that age. Then when you're past that phase, you start thinking logically and sometimes that's not needed at all... with things like marriage. In any case, this was just brainstorming for thoughts.

I too also believe that an Indian marriage is between two families and not two people. Some recent experiences in life also made me realize just that. And if I think further, it's not just marriage, but our lives as human beings, without social interaction life just isn't possible or it isn't what it is supposed to be.

Chinmai, absolutely.. it's when you actually get t i m e to think about it. :) Then begins the over-analysing of the process. I think it's often overdone but then in the times when new life-style (Western) options are available, people don't see a need to get married right away or at all.