Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Life is too precious

He was 21 years old. He was young and full of enthusiasm for everything in life. He was very handsome looking. When I met him for the first time as a grown up, after almost two decades, he asked me about how America was. It seemed like he would have loved to come to America some day. We talked for about two hours that night after bhajans, just me and him. He was curious and he had a smile that would make anyone smile and had energy of a toddler. I saw him cry a few tears too when we lost our uncle.

Today, he's gone. He committed suicide yesterday because he was tired of living. He kept saying he wanted to die since a few days. He was in love with someone that he thought his parents would not approve of.

I just sit here and wonder... why? Why him? Why didn't anyone stop him when he kept saying such things? Such a disappointment. Such a sad incident. Then I realize, it is people around who are responsible for not stopping him, for not making him feel comfortable enough for him to share his emotions before he felt so much pressure he couldn't handle it himself. Why do such things happen? Can't we try just a little more to make kids around us realize that in life, there's nothing so bad that you have to do something so horrible to yourself. Suicide is NOT the answer.

As I type this, I remembered two other incidents where young boys who were in love committed suicide for the same reason - stubborn parents I wish parents taught their children the value of life; that suicide is for cowards. I know these are difficult topics to discuss with younger generation but at the same time, they need to realize that no matter what they do (be it falling in love with any random girl) there is no one who can stop them from loving that person. I realize that people act weird when in love, but at the same time why is it that they feel so helpless that they have to retort to such things?

People need to realize that there is help out there. If you can not talk to your parents, there are others who can help you. You can find a helper in your friends, your neighbors, at your school, at your college. In the US, there are organizations that specialize in such things; at the universities there are free counseling services that help you in anything and everything you’re having a hard time about. Seek help there, if not at home. But for heaven’s sake don’t ever think of killing yourself. You’re not worth it. If you’re getting such thoughts, go talk to someone, let it all out. There is a solution to every problem that you face in life. Suicide is not one of them. God, please help those who are in need.

May his soul rest in peace.

Om Shanti.


Urv said...

Gosh.. Thats sad to hear yaar..

Soham Shah said...

This is shocking really ..

May his soul rest in peace..

Well, I cant think of anything else now after hearing such a sorry news .. Might comment later on the suicide thing ..

chinmai said...

thats really sad.. i agree to ur point "it is people around who are responsible for not stopping him, for not making him feel comfortable enough for him to share his emotions before he felt so much pressure he couldn't handle it himself"
may his soul rest in peace..

aneri_masi said...

This is really sad.

I really think parents need to start being more of friends to their kids, than simply wanting to control their lives all the time...

I mean, look at this case, he only THOUGHT that his parents won't like the girl. How unapproachable are these parents that he did not even find out for sure :(

Stubborn parents, be a little more friendly, will you?

Kanan said...

Urv, thank you.

Soham, thanks. I still can not believe it.

Chinmai, thank you. I wish someone listened to those things he kept saying for weeks before he left. It seems to me no one took him seriously.

Kashmira, I wish more parents were friendly to their children. I know of friends who can not tell their feelings to their parents because parents have either blackmailed them to believe that they’re doing too much favor to the kids. The kids feel so obligated and do things like getting married to a person that their parents have picked and eventually end up getting divorced in a few months. As for my cousin, the worst part is, his elder sister got married to a guy of her choice (whom parents disapproved initially) and the parents eventually gave in. He would have had the support of elder siblings too, only if he had asked... :'(

Pitu said...

:-( This is rly sad.