He was 21 years old. He was young and full of enthusiasm for everything in life. He was very handsome looking. When I met him for the first time as a grown up, after almost two decades, he asked me about how America was. It seemed like he would have loved to come to America some day. We talked for about two hours that night after bhajans, just me and him. He was curious and he had a smile that would make anyone smile and had energy of a toddler. I saw him cry a few tears too when we lost our uncle.
Today, he's gone. He committed suicide yesterday because he was tired of living. He kept saying he wanted to die since a few days. He was in love with someone that he thought his parents would not approve of.
I just sit here and wonder... why? Why him? Why didn't anyone stop him when he kept saying such things? Such a disappointment. Such a sad incident. Then I realize, it is people around who are responsible for not stopping him, for not making him feel comfortable enough for him to share his emotions before he felt so much pressure he couldn't handle it himself. Why do such things happen? Can't we try just a little more to make kids around us realize that in life, there's nothing so bad that you have to do something so horrible to yourself. Suicide is NOT the answer.
As I type this, I remembered two other incidents where young boys who were in love committed suicide for the same reason - stubborn parents I wish parents taught their children the value of life; that suicide is for cowards. I know these are difficult topics to discuss with younger generation but at the same time, they need to realize that no matter what they do (be it falling in love with any random girl) there is no one who can stop them from loving that person. I realize that people act weird when in love, but at the same time why is it that they feel so helpless that they have to retort to such things?
People need to realize that there is help out there. If you can not talk to your parents, there are others who can help you. You can find a helper in your friends, your neighbors, at your school, at your college. In the US, there are organizations that specialize in such things; at the universities there are free counseling services that help you in anything and everything you’re having a hard time about. Seek help there, if not at home. But for heaven’s sake don’t ever think of killing yourself. You’re not worth it. If you’re getting such thoughts, go talk to someone, let it all out. There is a solution to every problem that you face in life. Suicide is not one of them. God, please help those who are in need.
May his soul rest in peace.