Entry for December 29, 2006

Why are people afraid of admitting when it's their fault? They know it in their heart it's their fault and still refuse to accept it was a fact. They give you a thousand excuses to justify their behavior. I just wonder why it's so difficult to be strong and admit you made a mistake. Personally I feel it's much easier for a person to admit to a mistake than to justify and give explanations. Do these people have extra-high expectations of themselves? Or they want to be someone that they are not. May be they want to be like how others want them to be? I wonder...

Stealing...

Many a times I get in these philosophical moods where I question things; questions that I don't get a satisfactory answer for. Today someone stole my "dandiya" made of "sankheda". I know it is material thing, and I do believe in the saying about we can only have something when we truely deserve it but this time it made me think. Why do people steal? We were at this Indian party where we were supposed to bring dandiya with us because there was going to be garba after dinner. Right after the garba was over, people were busy drinking water and catching their breath and I also went to get some water and by the time I come back... my dandiya are gone! How can people steal something that doesn't belong to them? Don't they feel guilty? What do they think when they steal? I wonder. It just makes me think... it is these people that give Indians a bad name. Next time I am at an Indian party, I will make sure I don't leave my belongings on that chair that sits in a corner. And to think... I was surprised when my friend in New Jersey told me shoes get stolen in temples there!

The funniest thing I read today... :D

So next Harry Potter movie trailer is out and he's all over the place yet again. While browsing reading HP news, I came across Daniel Radcliffe's biography on IMDB and guess what I see!? LOL!! Of all the actors, he likes Aishwarya Rai??? I mean Aishwarya Rai?? Oh c'mon, Dan, you can do better than that. LOL I can't stop laughing... what is he thinking?

"Favorite actors include Aishwarya Rai, Cameron Diaz, Scarlett Johansson and Ben Stiller."

Source: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0705356/bio

The Control Freak Mind

Mind is all upset with anger squirming inside
It is all falling apart and you just can't hide
All your troubles are taking over like a high-tide
Then you realize your sanity has committed suicide
And there's no way to get out of this subside
You wish you had someone, who you can go and confide
Can't it be any simpler?
Can't it be any less complicated?
And why? These questions and my brains collide

November 17, 2006

Aimless

It is a regular working day

As I sit on this chair idly
Molecules in my brain have become inactive

For this moment will become part of memory
Eventually to fade away like light of setting Sun
Escaping this emptyness seems impossible
Longing to have a goal, any goal
Infinite number of ideas springing in mind, but
Numbness of those cells doesn't let them sink in
Gaping, these moments pass one after the other

Lost amid the ocean of meaningless thoughts
Observing my brain waves
Sitting here absentmindedly
To find that goal someday

September 7, 2006

Don't you feel like screaming?

When they make you bang your head on wall
And everything seems to lose control...

When they piss you off bigtime
And everyone just loves to whine...

When they annoy the heck out of you
And everyone just demands from you...

When they make you want to pull your hair out
And everything just seems to fall apart...

When they make you go nuts
And everything just seems like a rut...

It is now all just very crazy
And everything around is just too hazy.

*deep breath*

August 18, 2006

Entry for November 03, 2006

It is wonderful day today! For two reasons:

(1) Dada/Motabhai/KKJani was born on 10th November 106 years ago. I feel very proud to have him as grandfather. Since quite a few days I have been remembering him and I am reminded of some of the things I knew about him and other things I heard about him from others.

He was very simple man. Lived simple life, ate simple food. That is something I would like to learn in my life from him is to be simple in everything you do.

When he was young, he went to Mumbai for work. When he returned after a couple of years he found out that his grandfather - Ambashankar Jani - had passed away. When Kashiramdada told him that Ambashankar dada did not want him to return back to Mumbai, he decided he would never go back to Mumbai. Since that moment he never set foot in Mumbai as long as he lived.

He was very strict when his children were young but became like a good friend to them as they grew older. As his granddaughter, I was always too scared to go near him when I was a kid but as I grew older, I got to know him more and felt more comfortable around him.

When I think of him, I am reminded of him sitting in his chair and writing with his black-rimmed glasses on. He was a fantastic writer. He wrote articles in numerous magazines and periodicals. Some of them include Jan Kalyan, Geeta Dharma, Ramakadu (kids' periodical), and many more. I am having hard time recalling all of them at the moment. All his writings are sitting in a cabinet at home in Ahmedabad right now. Some of them never been published. Wish I get to fulfill my dream of having them published some day.

Thank you, Dada for everything you’ve given to us.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KKJani/



(2) I found out only this morning that it is also Mukta Ba's birthday today! She has turned 85 today. A very happy birthday to my darling grandmother. I really miss her very much.

An amazing woman is what I consider her. Always stood by my grandfather and raised her children well. Such considerate woman, always doing things for others without saying a word, without any complaints. Never interfering in anyone else’s life unless asked, is something to learn from her. Very tolerant woman who has suffered her share of hardships in life but never let her bad experiences affect her behavior. It is difficult to be such a person.

Every time I eat ice-cream I am reminded of her. She is a BIG ice-cream fan! It is great fun to sit next to her and enjoy those one or two bowls of ice-cream with her. Those moments that I could spend with her when I visited her are truly blessed moments. Wish I get to do that more often and for longer period of times.

I pray to God for her good health. I thank her for being who she is. Thank you, Ba, for everything you’ve given to us.

And a very special thank you to Dhruvamama for sending me birthdates of maternal grandparents, and great grandparents. Dhruvamama, I can’t thank you enough. I don’t have words. It is indeed a beautiful day! Happy day!

Abu Ben Adam

Abu Ben Adam,may his tribe increase

Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace

And saw, within the moonlight of his room

Making it rich, like a lily in bloom

An angel writing in a book of gold.

Exceeding peace had made Abu Ben Adam bold

And to the presence in his room he said

' What writest thou?'

The vision raised its head

And with a look of all sweet accord Answered:

'The names of those who love the Lord.

'And is mine one?' said Abu.

'Nay not so' Replied the Angel

Abu spoke more low

But cheerily still and said

'I pray thee then Write me as one that loves his fellow-men'

The angel wrote and vanished.

The next night it came again with awaking light

And showed the names of whom love of God had blessed.

And lo! Ben Adam's name led all the rest.

The Attack of the Big Phish

Note to self:

1. Do not open any of those PayPal emails.

2. Do not open any of those eBay emails.

3. Never give out personal information on a phone call that you did not initiate.

4. If the email has links that they ask you to click, read the URL properly (specially the domain name) before clicking on it. Most of the time it will be a fake website.

Thank you, Yahoo!

This article appears on Yahoo! Tech today.

The Attack of the Big Phish

Sources: http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/hughes/4337;_ylt=AvXcigg7QtXVjm_K4HyxEVEnLpA5
http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/hughes/4338;_ylt=AgPxxzh9KZQZJz_Qht_LEtgnLpA5

FBI website: http://www.fbi.gov/cyberinvest/escams.htm

Entry for September 12, 2006

So I've joined Orkut recently, and I was just searching for some old classmates from 4th standard in I.B.Patel English School. Guess what!? I did find one of them and I was so happy to find out she was the same person. It has been great to run down the memory lane and remember those good ol' days! I was surprised myself to be able to remember at least 10-12 other names of students and a few teachers also.

It is strange how some of the friends whom we thought to be in touch with for our entire lives go away from our lives because of reasons known or unknown; Then there are some we meet after say 20 years and they still remember us.

Two years back at Navratri garba, I saw someone that I remembered was probably in my elementary school. I walked upto her, and asked her if she ever lived in that city and went to that school? And to my surprise, she indeed went to that same school and was one year senior to me. Eventually I found out she was friends with my friend's elder sister. Of course she did not remember me but did remember her friend and her younger sister.

Then there a few years back, I was searching for the girl who lived next door from me. I sent emails to all the girls (with same fullname has hers) I found on a search engine. One of them replied back saying she was the one but didn't remember and when I told her more about all of those times we had spent together - fighting, studying and playing together she remembered it all. It was amazing!

How some people's faces and memories just become part of us, and stay with us for years and years, subconsciously... for rest of our lives.

Entry for September 11, 2006

The Farewell

And now it was evening.

And Almitra the seeress said, "Blessed be this day and this place and your spirit that has spoken."

And he answered, Was it I who spoke? Was I not also a listener?

Then he descended the steps of the Temple and all the people followed him. And he reached his ship and stood upon the deck.

And facing the people again, he raised his voice and said:

People of Orphalese, the wind bids me leave you.

Less hasty am I than the wind, yet I must go.

We wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way, begin no day where we have ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us.

Even while the earth sleeps we travel.

We are the seeds of the tenacious plant, and it is in our ripeness and our fullness of heart that we are given to the wind and are scattered.

Brief were my days among you, and briefer still the words I have spoken.

But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, then I will come again,

And with a richer heart and lips more yielding to the spirit will I speak.

Yea, I shall return with the tide,

And though death may hide me, and the greater silence enfold me, yet again will I seek your understanding.

And not in vain will I seek.

If aught I have said is truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.

I go with the wind, people of Orphalese, but not down into emptiness;

And if this day is not a fulfillment of your needs and my love, then let it be a promise till another day. Know therefore, that from the greater silence I shall return.

The mist that drifts away at dawn, leaving but dew in the fields, shall rise and gather into a cloud and then fall down in rain.

And not unlike the mist have I been.

In the stillness of the night I have walked in your streets, and my spirit has entered your houses,

And your heart-beats were in my heart, and your breath was upon my face, and I knew you all.

Ay, I knew your joy and your pain, and in your sleep your dreams were my dreams.

And oftentimes I was among you a lake among the mountains.

I mirrored the summits in you and the bending slopes, and even the passing flocks of your thoughts and your desires.

And to my silence came the laughter of your children in streams, and the longing of your youths in rivers.

And when they reached my depth the streams and the rivers ceased not yet to sing.

But sweeter still than laughter and greater than longing came to me.

It was boundless in you;

The vast man in whom you are all but cells and sinews;

He in whose chant all your singing is but a soundless throbbing.

It is in the vast man that you are vast,

And in beholding him that I beheld you and loved you.

For what distances can love reach that are not in that vast sphere?

What visions, what expectations and what presumptions can outsoar that flight?

Like a giant oak tree covered with apple blossoms is the vast man in you.

His mind binds you to the earth, his fragrance lifts you into space, and in his durability you are deathless.

You have been told that, even like a chain, you are as weak as your weakest link.

This is but half the truth. You are also as strong as your strongest link.

To measure you by your smallest deed is to reckon the power of ocean by the frailty of its foam.

To judge you by your failures is to cast blame upon the seasons for their inconsistency.

Ay, you are like an ocean,

And though heavy-grounded ships await the tide upon your shores, yet, even like an ocean, you cannot hasten your tides.

And like the seasons you are also,

And though in your winter you deny your spring,

Yet spring, reposing within you, smiles in her drowsiness and is not offended.

Think not I say these things in order that you may say the one to the other, "He praised us well. He saw but the good in us."

I only speak to you in words of that which you yourselves know in thought.

And what is word knowledge but a shadow of wordless knowledge?

Your thoughts and my words are waves from a sealed memory that keeps records of our yesterdays,

And of the ancient days when the earth knew not us nor herself,

And of nights when earth was upwrought with confusion,

Wise men have come to you to give you of their wisdom. I came to take of your wisdom:

And behold I have found that which is greater than wisdom.

It is a flame spirit in you ever gathering more of itself,

While you, heedless of its expansion, bewail the withering of your days.

It is life in quest of life in bodies that fear the grave.

There are no graves here.

These mountains and plains are a cradle and a stepping-stone.

Whenever you pass by the field where you have laid your ancestors look well thereupon, and you shall see yourselves and your children dancing hand in hand.

Verily you often make merry without knowing.

Others have come to you to whom for golden promises made unto your faith you have given but riches and power and glory.

Less than a promise have I given, and yet more generous have you been to me.

You have given me deeper thirsting after life.

Surely there is no greater gift to a man than that which turns all his aims into parching lips and all life into a fountain.

And in this lies my honour and my reward, -

That whenever I come to the fountain to drink I find the living water itself thirsty;

And it drinks me while I drink it.

Some of you have deemed me proud and over-shy to receive gifts.

To proud indeed am I to receive wages, but not gifts.

And though I have eaten berries among the hill when you would have had me sit at your board,

And slept in the portico of the temple where you would gladly have sheltered me,

Yet was it not your loving mindfulness of my days and my nights that made food sweet to my mouth and girdled my sleep with visions?

For this I bless you most:

You give much and know not that you give at all.

Verily the kindness that gazes upon itself in a mirror turns to stone,

And a good deed that calls itself by tender names becomes the parent to a curse.

And some of you have called me aloof, and drunk with my own aloneness,

And you have said, "He holds council with the trees of the forest, but not with men.

He sits alone on hill-tops and looks down upon our city."

True it is that I have climbed the hills and walked in remote places.

How could I have seen you save from a great height or a great distance?

How can one be indeed near unless he be far?

And others among you called unto me, not in words, and they said,

Stranger, stranger, lover of unreachable heights, why dwell you among the summits where eagles build their nests?

Why seek you the unattainable?

What storms would you trap in your net,

And what vaporous birds do you hunt in the sky?

Come and be one of us.

Descend and appease your hunger with our bread and quench your thirst with our wine."

In the solitude of their souls they said these things;

But were their solitude deeper they would have known that I sought but the secret of your joy and your pain,

And I hunted only your larger selves that walk the sky.

But the hunter was also the hunted:

For many of my arrows left my bow only to seek my own breast.

And the flier was also the creeper;

For when my wings were spread in the sun their shadow upon the earth was a turtle.

And I the believer was also the doubter;

For often have I put my finger in my own wound that I might have the greater belief in you and the greater knowledge of you.

And it is with this belief and this knowledge that I say,

You are not enclosed within your bodies, nor confined to houses or fields.

That which is you dwells above the mountain and roves with the wind.

It is not a thing that crawls into the sun for warmth or digs holes into darkness for safety,

But a thing free, a spirit that envelops the earth and moves in the ether.

If this be vague words, then seek not to clear them.

Vague and nebulous is the beginning of all things, but not their end,

And I fain would have you remember me as a beginning.

Life, and all that lives, is conceived in the mist and not in the crystal.

And who knows but a crystal is mist in decay?

This would I have you remember in remembering me:

That which seems most feeble and bewildered in you is the strongest and most determined.

Is it not your breath that has erected and hardened the structure of your bones?

And is it not a dream which none of you remember having dreamt that building your city and fashioned all there is in it?

Could you but see the tides of that breath you would cease to see all else,

And if you could hear the whispering of the dream you would hear no other sound.

But you do not see, nor do you hear, and it is well.

The veil that clouds your eyes shall be lifted by the hands that wove it,

And the clay that fills your ears shall be pierced by those fingers that kneaded it.

And you shall see

And you shall hear.

Yet you shall not deplore having known blindness, nor regret having been deaf.

For in that day you shall know the hidden purposes in all things,

And you shall bless darkness as you would bless light.


After saying these things he looked about him, and he saw the pilot of his ship standing by the helm and gazing now at the full sails and now at the distance.

And he said:

Patient, over-patient, is the captain of my ship.

The wind blows, and restless are the sails;

Even the rudder begs direction;

Yet quietly my captain awaits my silence.

And these my mariners, who have heard the choir of the greater sea, they too have heard me patiently.

Now they shall wait no longer.

I am ready.

The stream has reached the sea, and once more the great mother holds her son against her breast.

Fare you well, people of Orphalese.

This day has ended.

It is closing upon us even as the water-lily upon its own tomorrow.

What was given us here we shall keep,

And if it suffices not, then again must we come together and together stretch our hands unto the giver.

Forget not that I shall come back to you.

A little while, and my longing shall gather dust and foam for another body.

A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me.

Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you.

It was but yesterday we met in a dream.

You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.

But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.

The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part.

If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.

And if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.


So saying he made a signal to the seamen, and straightaway they weighed anchor and cast the ship loose from its moorings, and they moved eastward.

And a cry came from the people as from a single heart, and it rose the dusk and was carried out over the sea like a great trumpeting.

Only Almitra was silent, gazing after the ship until it had vanished into the mist.

And when all the people were dispersed she still stood alone upon the sea-wall, remembering in her heart his saying,

A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me."


Source: The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran

Time Management

How we see it?

Women	Men
Time as the enemy	Time as a resource
Not enough time to work and the responsibility of the family	Not very concerned with balancing the responsibility
Overwhelmed, stressed and guilty	Stressed
Guilty when you say "no"	Don’t have time to do everything
Need to do most things perfectly	Don’t have time to do everything

Perfectionist: Work, home, car, closets, children, garage

5 biggest time wasters: Telephone, Email, Communication, Meetings, Organization

Embrace vs. Tackle

Comprehend	Football Play
Hug	Attack
Adopt	Aggress
Inclusion	Lineman

Take a break


· Break away physically for give minutes
· Break away emotionally for five minutes
· Positive action statements
· Write down priorities
· Use month-at-a-glance calendar

Find your peak time!

Circadian Rhythm

Physical cycle takes 23 days to complete and controls energy, coordination and resistance to change, and other physical points.
Emotional cycle is 28 days and tied to creativity, mental health and temperament.
Intellectual cycle takes 33 days to complete and regulates memory, alertness and other intellectual pursuits.

Goals/Intentions:

· Subconscious mind believes whatever you think to be true
· Change internal perception/talk
· Positive attracts positive
· Negative attracts negative

Creating more energy

· Understand the need for control
o Fear: will lose job, professional standing, family, home
o Guilt: unreasonable demands of not being perfect, not being able to do everything
· Ask for help
o Fear of seeming incompetent
o The dislike of infringing on other’s time
o Fear of neglect
o The belief that a job requires specific knowledge and experience
o Ego involvement with the task
· Delegate
o No man is an island and no woman can do it all herself
o Critical for growth, success and sanity
· Procrastination => stress
· Stress => Burn-out
· Burn-out => Depression

Nurturing you

· Treat yourself to a Saturday salon day
· Cuddle up with a good book & herbal tea
· Go out with a fun friend for the evening
· Take a relaxing bath with candles
· Spend an entire weekend having fun
· Save $10/week for six months and take a trip

Panchaat

I think the word came from original word "Panchaayat".

A little history of panchaayat: in the old times in villages a group of five so-called smartest and wisest people of the village would be appointed to settle disputes when problems arose between two parties. Two parties would disclose all the relevant information to this group of individuals and finally the panchayat would make a righteous decision.

Today, the word has taken a completely different meaning. The actual concept of panchaayat has been gone long. Everyday use of the word gradually changed it to panchaat. Panchaat means vain and needless discussion. It is when people try to find out things about you that don't matter to them at all or may be very little. Asking these questions would not make any difference in their lives; and despite of that they ask you questions. I guess it is a fun activity... more like it has become like a hobby for some.

Have you ever noticed someone asking you, "so what else is new?" like 15 times in a 15 minute-conversation? That's what I am talking about... we come across many people like these in our day to day lives - people who don't have anything better to do but to find out what you have been up to. They ask you questions that make you feel uncomfortable sometimes, and mostly otherwise these are questions that are as simple as what is your hair color today? How does someone else's hair color make a difference in their lives? I understand if it is their significant other, or spouse, that's a different story because there could be someone out there having crush on a person because of their hair color. So in that case it becomes a matter of concern. Or may be they're doing a survey on how many blondes, brunettes or black/brown haired people did they interact with in one day? But to be doing this regularly, it makes one think whether those people have anything better to do in their lives or not.

I seriously think that these people should find something worth while to do, something that would enrich their minds. There are thousands of books, magazines, newspapers out there, they could read them. Engage themselves in some meaningful discussions instead of doing endless chatting with people just for their entertainment. Browse the internet to acquire more knowledge about science or other subject.

Why do people engage in “panchaat” in the first place? May be their lives are so lonely, may be their lives seriously lack entertainment, thus making them search for amusement in wrong places. I am still searching for potential reasons.
Genuinely caring about someone is different thing altogether. There are these people out there also... so it is important to differentiate between the two kinds. Not to be judging these kind folks who are there for us when we need them. You will find that the conversation with “panchaatiyaa” (people doing panchaat) becomes annoying at some point of time during the conversation. This is a best way to determine whether to spend more time talking to them. So did you talk to anyone today who did panchaat? I know I did. :-)

Expectations

I have been pondering...
What is it that makes us expect? Expect from ourselves, from others around us। Is it an internal force or external? Why do we expect things when we know our expectations are not going to meet? If expectation is not met, there might be disappointment associated with it. Practice and practical approach to situations and circumstances might help with reducing the expectations. It is a settlement between the reality and what our mind/heart wishes. Do we expect more from those who do too much? I'd think so, at least personal experience makes me say so. It is not logical to give up on expectations entirely since they help us make progress in life also - specially expectations from ourselves. Where to draw the line and tell ourselves - that's enough! Or when to tell ourselves - it's okay that's life we can't continue to expect from others. When we consider others' situation from their point of view is when we realize what constraints others might have in their lives. It is very difficult to think about others when we are only thinking about ourselves. The key is to get out of our mindset and think from their point of view. Think of how their priorities might be different than ours. Personal experiences conclude it takes great deal of practice to learn to not expect too much from others, for our own happiness and satisfaction.

10 Commandments of Cell Phone Etiquette

1. Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations. When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should spare them. People around you should have the option of not listening. If they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.

2. Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody. Is it not enough that phones go off every other second? Now we have to listen to synthesized nonsense?

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances. I'm not even sure this one needs to be said, but given the repeated violations of this heretofore unwritten law, I felt compelled to include it.

4. Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This hasn't become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let's nip this one in the bud.

5. Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.

6. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.

7. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone. These things have incredibly sensitive microphones, and it's gotten to the point where I can tell if someone is calling me from a cell because of the way they are talking, not how it sounds. If your signal cuts out, speaking louder won't help, unless the person is actually within earshot.

8. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.

9. Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone. Not only is using a cell phone no longer impressive in any way (unless it's one of those really cool new phones with the space age design), when it is used for that reason, said user can be immediately identified as a neophyte and a poseur.

10. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your coat pocket or clipped on your belt.


Source: http://www.infoworld.com/articles/op/xml/00/05/26/000526opwireless.html

http://tech.yahoo.com/blog/null/1225