Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Random Thoughts

Yet again, there are wild storms in this place called my brain, so hold on to anything you can.

Parents & Teachers

Back in May 2007, while discussing many things with Pradyuman fuva, I realized how important it was for any person to have good parents and teachers in their lives while they are growing up. Parents and teachers are the key people who affect our life. These are the people who practically make us who we are. They influence and form our being, sort of like how a potter makes pots or other objects from clay.

Then it made me think of those who grew up in a household with one parent or none. It was very difficult for me to comprehend what their situation might be like.

I see my coworkers coming to work, leaving their kids behind at a daycare or at home with a nanny to take care of them. It makes me think whether it is really worth earning that money? If yes, for whom? I have seen in my generation that when the mothers left their work to raise the children at home, those children truly appreciated it when they grew up and the ones whose mother was working away during the day and only spending evenings and weekends with them didn't have many special memories or rather didn't recall their childhood so fondly as the other lot did.

It is not just the physical presence but the role that the parent plays while staying at home also affects the being of the child. To have a parent watch you while you play out there in a park or yard and to have someone else do that are two very different things.

A coworker of mine once told me how mischievous her toddler kids were and that they love jumping around the whole house. She was so tired of it she didn't know what to do about it. So another coworker asked whether they had seen anyone jump around? Guess what she admitted!? one day the parents were too excited and started jumping around without realizing the kids were watching and ta da!!! there you have it two bouncy balls that just won't stop any more. Why? Well, because their parents do it too. It was too hard to make them forget that. Similarly, the good behavior also gets imprinted on the screens of their minds and they remember it for a longer time than anyone can ever imagine.

Coming to the other important role models in our lives - our teachers. How many of us distinctly remember our favorite teachers? And the way we liked to do things that they did. I remember my baby cousin when she was around 4 years old, she went to kindergarten and wanted to comb her hair just the way her teacher did. I found it quite silly back then when I was a teenager, but when I think about it today, I realize that even I used to observe and learn things from my teachers that I never really was aware of until I grew up and started thinking about it.

Being a teacher is a very important role, because you are affecting the lives of others whom you might not even know or know just for a few months and then move on. I have read incidents where students are grateful for their lives to their teachers. Imagine up to what extent that teacher must have influenced the students. Of course it is up to the student to feel so, but when a teacher sets a good example to his/her students, the effect of it goes very long way; way beyond what he/she can ever imagine.

You see obedient people behaving in not-so-right way when they are away from their parents or no one else is around to stop them. Eventually they realize it, may be regret it and stop doing that. May be because of what they were taught as a child stays with them, no matter how much they grow up and move away from home/parents. Just that once in a while they need a reminder of who they really are. Is it wise to judge the character of these people when they behave so? Nanu and I discuss this sometimes.


Jaydip Mehta said...

Parents and teachers really influences the child. But I would also add here that it is not detrimental.
2 child of same parents, getting educated in same school, from same teacher may have different behaviors. Because conditions and circumstances can influence you but it can not determine anything. It is the person who choose to be.
I also agree here that children's mind is too little to understand this all. Normal children will always grab things from environment around him and act accordingly. There are children who could have been better if moulded correctly , if brought up in correct way, if given proper treatment when they were vulnerable.

chinmai said...

excellent... and quite true as well.. " They influence and form our being, sort of like how a potter makes pots or other objects from clay."
it also depends on the type of clay that v are .. ( which depends on our genes and our past karmas, past lives ...i guess..)
i ll add more in d next comment soon

Kumar Ahir said...

i agree with jaydip as well as chinmai. It's environment and our genes which come from ages down to us which mould our personality. Parents are the facilitators in this world to guide us to the right things. In no way the contribution of our parents be considered less but if a child is ruined would say that it's all because the parent didn't take proper care of him/her? I think no.
however a nice thought and observation.

p.s. i do remember my fav teachers at kindergarten, school and college

Kanan said...

Jaydip, I agree with you to some extent but I think that at that age when a child makes a judgment about something, that stays with them for a long time. For example, a child has a play at school and he/she really wants the parents to attend it. If for some reason a parent can not attend, then say if that child is old enough to understand that fact would make a judgment about parents and think that the parents don't care about him/her, which in reality might not be true at all. It is upto the parent to make sure the child does not form a wrong impression about themselves or for that matter anyone else or any situation at that point of time. What parents say and do affects them a lot. I remember talking to a mom who said she never told about her dislikes towards other people to her kids while they were growing up, because she did not want her kids to judge those people from her own experiences and opinions, rather she wanted to have them create their own. So in a way, not saying something is also saying something. And of course I agree that it is the way the child would perceive that makes them who they are. That's why we don't have any two children or for that matter any two people same regardless of how many similar experiences they've had in life.

Chinmai, that's true. I also believe that we come with certain package with us before we arrive to this life and that too creates the basis of our personality.

Kumar, I partially agree with you. Of course, we are not born this way, we become so with the experiences in our lives. Kids going bad, I would say if they were living at home then the parents also contribute towards them going the wrong path. Don't you think no action is also an action? Your last sentence brought a smile to my face. I too remember my favorite teachers from KG, first thru college. :)

Thank you all, for sharing your valuable thoughts.