Only love & positive energy

Last few days have been life changing and there has been a lot of introspection going on because of everything that's happening in the world. It's been so busy, but that is resulting in putting right priorities on things in life. One of them is self-care and I am so grateful for today because I got to view this video and it has changed the way I think about every single thing around me, every person I interact with and everything I do, not just the water. What you give to the world is what you get in return and this is the prime example of it. What we sow is what we reap. Here is a note to self to give love and kindness and all that is positive only to all. May all be blessed with love and positive energy inside and outside.

 

Source of our Happiness and Sadness is within Us

Conversations with HP these days have been more philosophical than ever. It's nice because we both get to share the gratefulness for this life and the positive things about it with each other and at the same time, we remind each other that all the not-so-positive parts are like that because we look at them negatively. What we have concluded is that we constantly have to brain-wash ourselves in believing that all the happiness or sadness in this life is because of us only. That there is no other entity / event / person responsible for any hurt / happiness we might be feeling. All of these topics come up when we start talking about sister Shivani and Brahma Kumari lectures. I personally don't have enough time so for me, all the learning and reminding happens through our conversations. So grateful I get to learn about these things today than tomorrow.

I knew that all the answers were within us but knowing that the source of happiness or sadness is all us and only us was a big revelation for me. It is astonishing to know that I am the reason why I am happy or sad or whatever else I might be feeling. The events or experiences could be the initiating points of those, but at the end it is up to me to feel happy or sad about something. The blame game has only single source and that's within us. It is easy to play the victim in any situation but in reality, when the observation starts for the source of the negativity, it is actually inside us. This is all coming after days and weeks and months of these discussions and I am so grateful for them. Wish I had more time to turn that search light inside more often. To find the answers to all those unanswered questions. When and as the answers come about, it all makes me realize how beautiful this life is. So grateful for it and all that is and all that isn't.

Building tolerance when needed

When new year starts, mind feels quite busy often as it is a time to look back and summarize the experiences and ponder on what all has been learned in the past year with all experiences.

Best moments are the ones where you connect with loved ones to talk about philosophical things and realities of life, despite of them being not so pleasant, when we experience positive things. Down moments are the ones filled with disappointments; disappointments because of unpleasant experiences, because of unpleasant interactions, unpleasant people. Sometimes it makes me wonder if the expectations are contributor for that. May be so. Regardless, these sour experiences or moments have started to become lessons-learned than disappointments. Only gradually though. Thanks to loved ones for sending tons of reminders. One of the positive things that has barely started is the transformation to start listening to positive things, see more positive things, or rather see the negatives as positives. HP often reminds me of these things. Hope I can listen to more of BK speeches. Here's one of them that has come to rescue on time recently. What an amazing thought: "If we could look into the heart of the other person and know the journey of what they have gone through e'd become more tolerant, more kind, more generous and we would care more".

Why isn't death celebrated?

That's the question I had this morning. Last month, one of the relatives in the area passed away. He was 91 years old and we used to call him Dada. Last I had seen him was just two days before he left us. When I saw him, he was getting out of the car and making his way inside the home. We were all gathered for a weekend dinner party.

As usual I payed my regards to him and asked him if he needed a hand/support as he was walking inside. To this Dada smiled back and refused to accept my support saying he was good. The cane was good enough for him. Walking upright, he slowly made his way inside, climbing stairs on his own and removing his shoes on his own. His vision had been compromised because of macular degeneration since quite a few years, but that didn't stop him from going on his 5-mile daily walks. Even with a frail body, he was doing his daily regular yoga and walking. Eventually the walking had become indoors-only and that kind of irritated him. I could totally imagine how he felt with that. My point is, despite all the physical limitations and body giving up on daily basis, he continued to live a regular, healthy life until the last day of his life. His death made me sad for more than two weeks and I felt depressed. I didn't want to experience that time. I didn't want to live those moments. I wanted time to move on as fast as it does when we are celebrating, when we are happy. What I noticed was how I was feeling during all those days, how his immediate family and loved ones were feeling during this time..

I ask myself today, why is it that we don't feel happy for the departed? Why don't we celebrate death like we celebrate birth? For the departed, death is a better situation. Any next situation is better than the one before. And when that's the case, why don't we feel glad that they went to a better world? That they are free of all the miseries. Is that because we can only think of our happiness? That them not being part of our lives is completely going to change our lives. We will miss them, if at all we are close to them. The closer you are the more hurt and sad you feel. If so, isn't that mighty selfish of us to feel so?

Why do we wear white and black colors when someone dies? But at happy occasions we dress up in colorful clothes. Why isn't there dancing? Why there are no parties? Why aren't there multiple delicious meals served after a death? Yes, Indian culture does have all the rituals where the departed's favorite foods are made and served to family/friends and those close by. But the event is not really celebrated like a happy occasion. I wish we celebrated successful lives. Lives of people who lived a good healthy life and let their lives be a role model for rest of us to remain behind. I wish people made good wishes and sent them off with lots of love and happiness on their next adventure.. wherever that might be, instead of just saying "rest in peace." I wish deaths are celebrated like births too.

PS. I exclude unexpected deaths like suicide, murders, accidents, etc. here when I say about celebration.

Random thoughts

Yet another year is close to completion and yet another year older. Wiser than before? I hope so. ;) Smarter than before? Definitely! It's at this time I feel most thoughts colliding in my head than the entire year added together. May be it's the year-end.

Praful uncle stopped by for dinner the day before my birthday and it was perfect because we had an entire evening filled with philosophical discussions and I got to ponder on so many wonderful thoughts that it made me feel so very eternally grateful for everything and everyone in life.

Some of the thoughts he shared that caught my attention were outrageous and others quite thought-provoking. Here are the thoughts in a random order.

Your experiences in life are your only guru.

"Nobody" is blissful. "Somebody" is miserable.

The explanation that went with this was about being someone vs. being no one. I could be a "daughter", "sister", "friend", "wife", "mother", etc. When I am that somebody, only at that time it's possible for me to feel miserable. If I am "nobody", then I am, or will always be blissful.

If someone makes a mistake, be there for them. 

Nobody can ever make anybody happy.

You can not waste time to make anyone happy. Try to make yourself happy. 

If you are happy, then you will be able to spread that happiness / will be able to pass that happiness onto others.

Love yourself.

One of the topics that came up was where is the soul. To explain, pointing at cell phone Uncle asked, "is the sound in the phone or phone in the sound?" I said the latter. And it turned out to be true. He explained. When we speak, the atmosphere enables the sound to travel, meaning that the sound is already there. Phone ringer is the detecting mechanism. Then he matched the analogy to the soul question. Soul is omnipresent. It's everywhere. The human body is the manifestation of it. That's how the soul gets expressed, if at all that terminology can be used for soul. It was an interesting analogy and thought.

Translated article: "Please be sure it doesn’t get too late to forgive…"

Pondering about the topic of my previous post, I went back to my old post in Gujarati where I had shared an article about forgiving. This is one of those articles forwarded to me by my cousin that I just couldn’t help but translate for I wish more people are able to read it. 

Yet again a feeble attempt at translation, but I hope it is able to convey the moral of the story for those interested in it.

In this world, two things are the hardest to do. To apologize and to forgive. Relationships depend on how one is able to melt his/her own ego. Often times, we mistaken arrogance for self-respect.

The one that doesn’t make us feel “heavy” is kinsman/relative/our own person. Lightness in a relation is the most important characteristic of a relation. Where there is heaviness, there is no acceptance. One just suffers because of the imposition/burden. Inherent/natural (relation) is never heavy. People carry the “burden” and pass it on to others by doing so. 

Every road has a turn. Relationships also have their ups and downs. No lines on our palms are straight then how is life going to be the same all the time? Nothing in this world stays still. Sun rises and sets, oceans also have high and low tides. Planets also change their course/orbits, flowers bloom and wilt. Rainbows don’t last forever, then how can relationships remain the same?

If someone doesn’t do according to our wish, then we consider it a mistake. Do we give our people a right/chance to make a mistake? Test/identification of love only happens by knowing how quickly we can forgive someone. It is also a kind of injustice to delay the forgiving. When bumblebee sucks nectar, does the flower complain? Does a river grieve when it merges into a salty ocean and becomes salty?

The one who realizes self, has truly earned self-respect. We create a boundary around ourselves and consider that the whole world. If someone goes out of that boundary, we consider them our opponent or enemy. The biggest sin in this world is to take control of someone’s mind and brain. Person who wishes “no one should do anything without asking me” is forcing their near ones to cross that limit.

Some people are such that others are afraid to approach them to even apologize. There is a higher possibility of estrangement where there is no affection. Where affection is the nature, there are positive feelings. 

A man was on his deathbed. He realized that his life was going to end soon. He thought of things that he still had to do. After thinking a lot, he realized that he had offended a lot of people/hearts. He wished to apologize before leaving (the world).

He started to apologize to all the people one after the other. At last, he remembered the daughter who had run away from home and gotten married without his permission. He hadn’t seen the daughter who was like his heart. He requested his wife to call the daughter over. The daughter came over. The granddaughter also came with the daughter. In the hospital room, the granddaughter entered first. She came closer and asked, “Grandpa, what was my fault?” The man cried until he was out of breath; he replied to the granddaughter, “there was no fault of yours; may be it was only my fault.”

We blame others when we can’t see our own fault. The daughter came close to her father and put her hand on her father’s head. The father said “I wish you had said it to me even once” the daughter replied “but I was so afraid, dad. When did I ever feel the lightness (in our relation back then) that I feel today? I had taken a photograph of you when I left home. I would see your photo daily and put my hand on head and said I love you, Papa. Tears welled up in my eyes daily, and even today my eyes are filled with tears, but they don’t lack (feelings) today, there is gratitude (in them today).” The father said “now there are no more heavy feelings, no more lack of feelings, no regrets in life.”

Never procrastinate when it comes to forgiving people. It might be too late. There is no specific limit on “late”, late might be tomorrow. Can you forgive someone today? A boyfriend/girlfriend who is not with you today to whom you have not been able to forgive? A friend who may be made a small mistake, deceived you a bit or defrauded you somehow. Can you forgive them? A colleague or two with whom you had disagreements about something. Can you let go of it? A brother or a sister who have not been able to spend time with you for any reason, can you say “it’s okay” and call them again? If not, then you are missing out on something. 

Try forgiving, there is nothing more liberating than that. A man can give big donations. But not all can become forgiver. A forgiver is the bravest of all. Often times our people want to forgive us, but we don’t apologize to them. Often we are afraid that we will not be forgiven. Often we wonder why we should apologize. What mistaken have I made? If a thread is not broken, it becomes a rope. Apologizing doesn’t make anyone smaller. People who apologize gain confidence and self-respect. Apologizing makes one feel lighter. Whether we will be forgiven or not is not a matter for us to worry about. Let the other person decide that.

We have to do what we feel is appropriate. Often we remember some people so much, we want to be close to certain people so much or wish they would be close to us. We wish to spend time with them, but we don’t let them come close to us or don’t open the doors to allow them to reach us. Some want to climb mountains but an opportunity must be given to them. Some fearful thoughts we have are not as big or dangerous as we might think them to be. All that is needed is a “sorry” and if someone says “sorry” don’t ever wait, because not everyone gets a chance to forgive all the time. 

There is nothing so “heavy” in life that can’t be made lighter. We just have to let go little bit. People who love you should not be afraid of you. How much you can forgive a loved one for their mistakes is what decides how much you love them. If you want your loved ones to not hide anything or keep any secrets from you, then give them enough freedom and lightness that they are able to do those things in front of you without any fears. No one wishes to hurt their loved ones. No one likes to be far away from their loved ones. Nonacceptance is the one that causes the ill feelings. Only great and brave people are able to apologize and forgive. It is not something for the cowardly. Try saying “I am sorry” once.

Don’t wait (for anything) so long (in life) that makes you regret it. Neither in apologizing, nor in forgiving.

Original article in Gujarati is here.

Why is it so hard to forgive?

Not for me, for others.
That's what stumps me so often these days. People holding grudge against their loved ones. Why can't people just let it go? How big of an ego do they have that disables them, stops them from letting go and becoming a bigger person? How they live with that feeling of unreasonable expectations or anger or hatred or upsetness whatever you call it - inside them is beyond me. I wish the world was more forgiving and I wish people let go of their high expectations and egos that hold them back from becoming lighter in their minds and hearts and become one one day - in minds and hearts. Especially if it's a loved one. Wishing for more hearts to be forgiving. For it might be too late one day to even forgive someone.

"જો જો માફ કરવામાં મોડું ન થઇ જાય..."

જીજાજીએ આજે એક સરસ લેખ મોકલ્યો અને વાંચવાની ખૂબ મજા આવી ગયી, થયું આ તો બ્લોગ કરવા જેવો લેખ છે. ફરી ને ફરી વાંચવાનું મન થાય એવો આ લેખ ફરી ને ફરી વાંચી શકાય એટલે...
લેખ જીજાજીના મિત્રએ લખેલ છે અને તેમાં તેમણે થોડો ફેરફાર કરી ને મોકલેલ છે.

દુનિયામાં બે કામ સૌથી અઘરાં છે. માફી માગવી અને માફી આપવી. પોતાના ઈગોને માણસ કેટલો ઓગાળી શકે છે તેના ઉપર સંબંધોનો આધાર રહે છે. ઘણી વખત આપણે અભિમાનને સ્વાભિમાન ગણી લેતા હોઈએ છીએ.

'વજન' નો અનુભવ ન કરાવે તેનું નામ સ્વજન. હળવાશ એ સંબંધની સૌથી મોટી લાક્ષણિકતા છે. જ્યાં ભાર હોય છે ત્યાં સ્વીકાર હોતો નથી. લાદી દીધેલું વેંઢારવું પડતું હોય છે. જે સહજ હોય એનો ભાર લાગતો નથી. માણસ 'ભાર' લઈને ફરે છે અને બીજા પર લાદતા પણ રહે છે.

દરેક માર્ગને વળાંક હોય છે. સંબંધમાં પણ ઉતાર અને ચઢાવ હોય છે. હાથની કોઈ રેખા સીધી હોતી નથી તો પછી જિંદગી કાયમ કેવી રીતે એકસરખી ચાલવાની છે? દુનિયામાં કંઈ જ સ્થિર નથી. સૂરજ ઊગે છે અને આથમે છે, દરિયામાં પણ ભરતી અને ઓટ છે. ગ્રહો પણ એની ચાલ બદલતા રહે છે, ફૂલ ખીલે છે અને કરમાય છે. મેઘધનુષ કાયમ રહેતું નથી, તો પછી સંબંધ કેમ એકસરખા રહે?

આપણી ઇચ્છા મુજબ કોઈ કંઈ ન કરે ત્યારે આપણે એને ભૂલ ગણી લઈએ છીએ. આપણે આપણી વ્યક્તિને ભૂલ કરવાનો અધિકાર આપીએ છીએ? પ્રેમની સૌથી મોટી પરખ ત્યારે થાય છે કે આપણે કોઈને કેટલા ઝડપથી માફ કરીએ છીએ. માફ કરવામાં મોડું કરવું એ પણ એક જાતનો અન્યાય જ છે. ભમરો મધ ચૂસી જાય ત્યારે ફૂલ ફરિયાદ કરતું હશે? નદી દરિયાને મળે અને ખારી થઈ જાય ત્યારે નદી બળાપો ઠાલવતી હશે?

જેને 'સ્વ'નું ભાન છે એ જ ખરો સ્વાભિમાની છે. આપણે આપણી ફરતે એક કુંડાળું દોરી લઈએ છીએ અને પછી એને જ આખી દુનિયા માની લેતા હોઈએ છીએ. તેની બહાર કોઈ જાય એને આપણોવિરોધી કે દુશ્મન સમજી લઈએ છીએ. દુનિયામાં સૌથી મોટું પાપ કોઈના મન અને મગજ પર કબજો કરવાનું છે. મને પૂછયા વગર કંઈ જ કરવાનું નથી,એવું ઇચ્છતી વ્યક્તિ જ પોતાના નજીકના લોકોને મર્યાદા વટાવવા માટે મજબૂર કરતી હોય છે.

ઘણા લોકો તો એવા હોય છે જેની પાસે માફી માંગતા પણ ડર લાગે. જ્યાં 'ભાવ'નો અભાવ હોય ત્યાં અણબનાવની શક્યતા સૌથી વધુ હોય છે. જ્યાં 'ભાવ'નો સ્વભાવ હોય છે ત્યાં જ અહોભાવ હોય છે.

એક માણસ મરણપથારીએ હતો. તેને સમજાઈ ગયું કે જિંદગીનો અંત હવે નજીક છે. એને વિચાર આવ્યો કે કોઈ કામ બાકી રહી જતું નથી ને? બહુ વિચાર કર્યા પછી તેને યાદ આવ્યું કે ઘણા લોકોનાં દિલ દુભાવાઈ ગયાં છે. જતાં પહેલાં એની માફી માંગી લઉં.

એક પછી એક બધાને બોલાવીને માફી માગવાનું શરૂ કર્યું. સૌથી છેલ્લે યાદ આવી એ દીકરી જેણે ભાગીને લગ્ન કરી લીધાં હતાં. દિલના ટુકડા જેવી દીકરીને વર્ષોથી જોઈ ન હતી. અંતે પત્નીને કહ્યું કે એને બોલાવી દે. દીકરીને બોલાવી. દીકરીની દીકરી પણ સાથે હતી. હોસ્પિટલના રૂમમાં સૌથી પહેલી પૌત્રી દાખલ થઈ. નજીક આવીને કહ્યું કે, દાદા, મારો શું વાંક હતો? પહેલી વખત એ માણસ ધ્રૂસકે ધ્રૂસકે રડી પડયો અને નાનકડી પૌત્રીને કહ્યું કે દીકરા, તારો કંઈ વાંક ન હતો, કદાચ વાંક મારો જ હતો. આપણો વાંક દેખાતો નથી હોતો ત્યારે આપણે બીજા લોકોનો વાંક કાઢતા હોઈએ છીએ.દીકરીએ નજીક આવી પિતાના માથા પર હાથ મૂક્યો. પિતાએ કહ્યું કે, એક વાર તો મને કહી જોયું હોત. દીકરી એટલું જ બોલી કે ડર લાગતો હતો પાપા, આજે છે એટલી હળવાશ ત્યારે ક્યાં હતી? ઘરેથી નીકળી ત્યારે તમારી તસવીર લેતી ગઈ હતી. દરરોજ તમારો ફોટો જોઈને માથે હાથ ફેરવ્યો છે અને મનોમન બોલ્યું છે કે લવ યુ પાપા. રોજ આંખો ભરાઈ આવતી, આજે પણ આંખો ભરાયેલી છે, જોકે તેમાં અભાવ નથી,પણ આભાર છે. પિતાએ કહ્યું કે હવે કોઈ ભાર નથી, હવે કોઈ અભાવ નથી, અને હવે કોઈ અફસોસ નથી.

પોતાના લોકોને માફ કરવામાં ક્યારેય એટલો વિલંબ ન કરો કે બહુ મોડું થઈ જાય. 'મોડા'ની કોઈ મર્યાદા નથી હોતી, મોડું કદાચ આવતીકાલે પણ થઈ જાય, આજે તમે કોઈને માફ કરી શકો છો? એવો પ્રેમી કે એવી પ્રેમિકા જે આજે સાથે નથી એને તમે માફ કરી શક્યા છો? એવો દોસ્ત જેનાથી ક્યારેક કોઈ નાની ભૂલ, થોડીક છેતરપિંડી કે એકાદ દગો થઈ ગયો છે એને તમે અપનાવી શકો છો? એક-બે સાથે કામ કરતી વ્યક્તિ, જેની સાથે કોઈ મુદ્દે ચડભડ થઈ ગઈ હોય એનું જતું કરી શકો છો? એવા ભાઈ કે બહેન, જે કોઈ સમયે કોઈ કારણસર આપણી સાથે હાજર રહી નથી શક્યા એને 'હશે' કહીને પાછા બોલાવી શકો છો? જો ના,તો તમે કંઈક ગુમાવી રહ્યા છો.

માફ તો કરી જુઓ, એના જેવી ઉદારતા બીજા કશામાં નથી. માણસ દાનવીર થઈ શકે છે. પણ માફવીર થઈ શકતો નથી. જે માફવીર છે એ મહાવીર જ છે. ઘણી વખત તો આપણી વ્યક્તિએ આપણને માફ કરી દેવો હોય છે પણ આપણે જ માફી માગતા હોતા નથી. ક્યારેક ડર હોય છે કે આપણને માફી નહીં મળે અને ક્યારેક એવું લાગે છે કે હું શા માટે માફી માગું ? મેં ક્યાં કોઈ ભૂલ કરી છે ? એક દોરો ન તોડીએ તો એ ધીમે ધીમે દોરડું બની જાય છે. માફી માંગી લેવાથી કોઈ નીચું થઈ જતું નથી, માફી માગીને તો માણસ વધુ ટટ્ટાર થાય છે. માફી માગી લેવાથી માણસ હળવો થઈ જાય છે. આપવી ન આપવી એ તમે ચિંતા ન કરો. એ બીજા પર છોડો.

આપણે આપણને જે યોગ્ય લાગે એ કરવાનું હોય છે. કેવું છે, કોઈ વ્યક્તિ આપણને સતત યાદ આવતી હોય છે, કોઈને સતત નજીક લાવવાની કે એની નજીક જવાની આપણને ઇચ્છા થતી હોય છે, આપણે કોઈને સતત ઝંખતા હોઈએ છીએ પણ એને નજીક આવવા દેવા કે એની નજીક જવા માટે દરવાજો ખોલતા નથી. કેટલાંક પહાડોને ઓગળવું હોય છે પણ એને તક તો આપો. કેટલાક ભ્રમ આપણે ધારતા હોઈએ એટલા મોટા કે બિહામણાં હોતા નથી. બસ 'સોરી' કહેવાની જ વાર હોય છે. અને કોઈ સોરી કહે ત્યારે જરાયે મોડું ન કરતાં, કારણ કે માફ કરવાની તક પણ વારંવાર મળતી નથી.

જિંદગીમાં એટલું 'ભારે' કશું જ નથી હોતું જે હળવું ન થઈ શકે. આપણે બસ થોડુંક જતું કરવાનું હોય છે. તમને પ્રેમ કરવાવાળા તમારાથી ડરવા ન જોઈએ. તમે તમારી વ્યક્તિની ભૂલ કેટલી માફ કરી શકો છો તેના પરથી જ નક્કી થતું હોય છે કે તમે તેને કેટલો પ્રેમ કરો છો. તમે ઇચ્છતા હોવ કે તમારી વ્યક્તિ કંઈ જ છાનુંછપનું કે ખાનગી ન કરે તો એ તમારી સામે એ કરી શકે અને તમને ખુલ્લા દિલે એ કહી શકે એટલી હળવાશ આપો. કોઈને પોતાની વ્યક્તિનું દિલ દુભાવવું હોતું નથી. કોઈને દૂર જવું હોતું નથી. અસ્વીકાર જ અભાવ સર્જતો હોય છે. મહાન માણસ જ માફી માગી કે માફી આપી શકે છે. કાયરોનું એ કામ નથી. એક વાર કહી તો જુઓ કે આઈ એમ સોરી.

એટલું મોડું શેમાંય ન કરો કે જિંદગીભરનો અફસોસ રહી જાય. ન તો માફી માંગવામાં, ન તો માફી આપવામાં.

છેલ્લો સીન:

જે ગાંઠ છૂટી શકે તેવી હોય તેને કાપવી નહીં. - અજ્ઞાત

વર્ષો પછી મળ્યાં તો નયન ભીનાં થઈ ગયાં, સુખનો પ્રસંગ શોકનો અવસર બની ગયો.
એ મુજને રડતો જોઈ ખુદ પણ રડી પડયા, મારો જ પ્રશ્ન એમનો ઉત્તર બની ગયો.
- બરકત વિરાણી 'બેફામ'

A wish for the new year

May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy.
May the forlorn find new hope,
Constant happiness, and prosperity.
May the frightened cease to be afraid
And those bound be free.
May the weak find powers,
And may their hearts join in friendship.

-Unknown

Keeping busy & Happy birthday to Big B!

It's Amitabh Bachchan's birthday today and again after a long while I ended up on his blog. One of the reasons why I love to read his writing is because of the way he writes. It is so fluid and takes me with it as I go from line to line, from thought to thought. I wish I kept a log of my daily thoughts like that. Another thing I love about the contents is how positive it is most of the time and how it impacts my mood. May be I am biased. I don't know. The reason why I wanted to put this in a post is because while I was browsing the posts, I stumbled upon this really thought-provoking paragraph. Here it is:

Its been a day when I often wonder what others do to keep themselves occupied. To me it has been one of great despair. Nothing to do, nowhere to go and having just no desire at all to do something. Yes there is work pending and hundreds of important issues to tackle and resolve, but the strange thing is that when you have the time, it isn’t time and when you do not, then you do. Which is why they say when you wish something to be done, give it to the person who is most busy for that shall guarantee that it shall be done. I was not busy today and so nothing was done !

Source

It made me think how true it is and may be because I can relate to it. This post is a reminder to self to try to be busy as he says in there, to be the person who gets things done. I think it's hard but doable.

Happy Birthday to you, Resp. Amitji! May God bless you.

Notes from a lecture of Shri Kripaluji Maharaj

I got to overhear most of this audio lecture last week. I don’t quite remember all of it now, but from what I remember, I enjoyed listening to it and appreciated the thoughts quite a lot. So thought I’d note them down before I forget.

Ego is our worst enemy. Why to have ego in the first place? We are never the best, but still we feel we are. When complimenting each other, us humans use phrases like “eyes like a deer”, “tall as a giraffe”, “run like a leopard”, “faithful as a dog”, etc. Even when animals are better than humans in looks and many other characteristics as we can see in these comparisons, it is us who feel proud of ourselves. What if humans were blessed with those better characteristics? Where would we be then?!

There was this Sanskrit shlok/couplet that had a line "Be as tolerant as a tree". It took me back to the time when I went on vacation to Sequoia National Park. Looking at those hundreds of years old sequoia trees, made me think how long some of them have been standing there, standing tall, in freezing snow, in scorching heat, in stormy winds, in rains, one season after the other. Trees indeed are the most tolerant living things.

In one of the parts, Maharaj ji says he preferred when people scolded him than to when they praised him.

અબઘડી, અંક: ૨ માં થી..

તમે તમારા મનને કેવો ખોરાક આપો છો?

આપણે આજે જે કઈ છીએ તે આપણા વિચારોનું જ પરિણામ છે. બહારથી મળતી માહિતીઓ ઉપરથી જ મન વિચારો પેદા કરે છે. આપણી આંખ, કાન, નાક, જીભ, અને ત્વચા એ પાંચ ઇન્દ્રિયો માહિતી આપવાનું કામ બંધ નથી કરતી, માટે મન વિચારવાનું કામ બંધ નથી કરતું. જેવા વિચારો એવો અભિગમ અને જેવો અભિગમ એવા નિર્ણયો. જેવો નિર્ણય એવું કાર્ય અને જેવું કાર્ય તેવા પરિણામ. એનો અર્થ એ કે જો આપણે સમૃદ્ધિ જોઈતી હોય તો મનને સમૃદ્ધિની જ માહિતી પૂરી પાડવી જોઈએ. તે માટે આપણે આંખ-કાનમાં ફિલ્ટર નાખવું પડે. આ ફિલ્ટરનું નામ છે 'પ્રતિવિચાર'.

જયારે તમે કોઈ નકારાત્મક દ્રશ્ય કે વાત જોઈ-સાંભળી રહ્યા હોવ અને એ જોવું કે સાંભળવું જ પડે એમ હોય ત્યારે એ નકારાત્મક પરિસ્થિતિથી બિલકુલ વિરોધી શબ્દો મનમાં બોલો. દા.ત. રૂપિયા તો હાથનો મેલ છે. તેની સામે મનને કહો 'રૂપિયા હાથની શોભા છે.' આમ થવાથી મન એ નવા શબ્દો ઉપર વિચારો કરવા લાગશે. જો તમે તમારા મનને શ્રેષ્ઠ ખોરાક નહિ આપો તો દુનિયાના પ્રવાહો તો જાત-જાતનો ખોરાક આપવા રાહ જોઇને જ બેઠા છે. મન આપણને માત્ર એ જ આપી શકે કે જે આપણે એને આપ્યું હોય.

સાભાર-સૌજન્ય: રાજીવ ભલાણી, દિવ્ય ભાસ્કર

~~~~~*~~~~~

The name of this magazine is "abghadi". "Abghadi" in Gujarati translates to "right at this moment" and this two-page magazine comes out every month, I believe. The group of people who put it together expect that you read it instantly. It is in Gujarati because most Gujaratis are forgetting how to read Gujarati because of lack of practice... this is their way to encourage more people to read in the language. Their slogan is "not just reading, a movement to change self" and majority of the writing reflects that. The above article is from the second issue of the magazine and I really liked it so I've made a feeble attempt to closely translate it to English below. Please feel free to share a better translation of words/phrases if you can think of any.

Translation:

What kind of food do you feed your mind?

Who we are today is the result of our thoughts. Our mind creates the thoughts from the external information. Five senses - our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin don't stop relaying information, so mind does not stop thinking. Thoughts turn into approach and approaches turn into decisions. Decisions lead to effort and efforts lead to results. This means that if we want enrichment, we have to provide our minds with enriching information. For this, we have to place filters on our eyes and ears. This filter is called "rethinking".

When you are viewing/hearing about a scene with negativity and the situation forces you to see/hear that situation, then think completely opposite from that negative situation. e.g. money is like dirt of your hands. Then against that, tell (your) mind 'money adorns your hands'. By doing this, (your) mind will start thinking about these new words. If you do not feed your mind with the best possible food (nutrients) then the streams of the world are ever eager to provide (it) with various/any kinds of food. The mind can only give us what we give it.

Contributor: Rajiv Bhalani, Divya Bhaskar
Source: "Read Now", Issue no. 2

There is a reason...

...why the windshield is so big and the rear view mirror so small.

આજની ફિલસૂફી

આવી પડેલ પરિસ્થિતિની અસ્વીકૃતિ એ જ દુ:ખનું કારણ.
-વામનકાકા

પ્ર: માણસ અસત્ય ક્યારે બોલે છે?
જ: જ્યારે તેને સત્ય પર ભરોસો નથી હોતો.
-પાપુ

In this life:

...do what Lord Raam did in His life.

...do what Lord Krishna said in His life.

Ziggy: Journey

(c) Tom Wilson

Why do we get married?

This topic has come up so often in recent years, more because of the age I guess, but M and I discuss this on weekly basis these days.

Question is why do we get married? Or why should we get married? Can't we be single and continue to live life like we do when we are single?

I sit and ponder often and then observe people around, couples around. One thing I've realized is that life is always more fun and exciting when shared with others. With people around us. Then again, you think, well don't you actually share your life with your parents, siblings?

It is to have someone in life with whom we belong. Someone who is our age. Someone who is different from us in how we were raised in the past, yet similar in how we will be raised in future. Someone we can tell everything to and not be afraid of what they will think. Someone who trusts us and whom we trust, with all our heart, without a single doubt. Someone we like despite of how many bad qualities or shortcomings they have because the good in them is more than enough for us to like them, love them, tolerate them, accept them. Someone we can go ask questions to when we are confused. Someone who is like a parent when we need them and someone who can become like our child when they need to be. Someone who recognizes our shortcomings and helps us overcome them or at least does not let them not bog us down. Someone who stands by us when no one else does or wants to. Someone who tells us stories. Someone who lifts our spirits when we are down. Someone that gets our good qualities out and makes us a better person. Someone who respects and cares like no one else does. Someone who makes our lives worthwhile to live. Someone to hold our hand and walk with us the journey of life. Someone who makes us experience life like we have never experienced it before... btw, this list does continue.

Someone who doesn't boss you around or control you. Someone who doesn't just think of you as a bank account. Someone who doesn't consider you their property or worse, a thing they own. Someone who doesn't treat you like a slave. Someone who respects you and earns and deserves your respect...

Well, imagine all of these people getting bundled up in one. Because they can, depending upon the arising need, they will be able to take up one of the above roles for you. And because parents, siblings, grandparents, children can not do the same thing, they come to our lives.

Now I know why we get married, rather why we should get married.

Kitchen kraziness

As I mentioned early this year, I've started to spend some quality time in kitchen and it's been a lot of fun.

This is to point out that the food-lover in you might want to stop by at Our Cooking Experiments for some good healthy ghaas-phus type foods and to witness some kitchen kraziness.

Sitting around this Saturday afternoon, I was getting all philosophical about it so decided to share with you what all I learned that from these recent adventures. I've learned that:

• cooking is an art to be mastered.
  
• what you give is what you get; similarly what you put in is what you make.
  
• patience is a virtue and good dishes take good time.
  
• efficiency and speed are very important and can only be achieved by practice.
  
• it is okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.
  
• taking a shortcut isn't always a good thing.
  
• the word laziness has got to go from our dictionary.
  
• sharing the knowledge only helps us than being secretive about it.
  
• the happiness that comes from making delicious food and feeding people is unbelievable.
  
• last but not least, as Jamba Juice slogan says, this body is a temple, don't litter in it.
  

So are you ready to drool some? If yes, then let the drooling begin... :)

Hindu Shaastras

Saw this calendar that Papu had and fell in love with it. I wish I get to read all of these some day - ved, upanishad, brahmasutra, upaved, puraan...

Here is a glimpse to each:

~~~~~*~~~~~

संगच्छध्वं सं वदध्वं सं वो मनांसि जानताम् ।
देवा भागं यथा पूर्वे सज्जानाना उपासते ।।

Come together! Speak together! Let your minds be in harmony, as the devas of old sat together in harmony to worship. - Rig Veda 10-191-2

~~~~~*~~~~~

ईशा वास्यं इदं सर्वं यत्किंच जगत्यां जगत्।
तेन त्यक्तेन भुज्जीथा: मा गृध: कस्यस्विद् घनम्।।

The whole world is pervaded by its ruler and controller [God]. Enjoy or accept that which has been set apart by Him. Do not desire another's wealth. - Ishaavaasyopanishad 1

~~~~~*~~~~~

धृति: क्षमा दमोऽस्तेयं शौचमिन्द्रियनिग्रह:।
धीर्विध्या सत्यमक्रोधो दशकं धर्मलक्षणम्।।

Patience, forgiveness, austerity, non-stealing, purity, restraining one's senses, intellect, knowledge, truth and non-anger - these ten are teh characteristics of dharma. - Manu Smruti 6.92

~~~~~*~~~~~


सत्यमेवेश्वरो लोके सत्ये धर्म: सदाऽऽश्रित:।
सत्यमूलानि सर्वाणि सत्यान्नास्ति परं पदम्।।

In the universe, God alone is truth. Dharma can sustain irself only on this truth. This truth is the root of everything. There is nothing higher than this truth, and nothing higher to be achieved. - Vaalmiki Raamaayana (Ayodhyaakaanda 109.13)

~~~~~*~~~~~


सत्येन रक्ष्यते धर्मो विध्या योगेन रक्ष्यते।
मृजया रक्ष्यते रूपं कुलं वृत्तेन रक्ष्यते।।

Truth protects dharma. Repeating [what one has learnt] preserves knowledge. Bathing sustains beauty. Character preserves one's lineage. - Mahaabhaarata 5.34.39

~~~~~*~~~~~

स्वधर्मान् परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज।
अहं त्वां सर्वपापेभ्यो मोक्षयिष्यामि मा शुच:।।

Resigning all your dharma [duties] to Me, take refuge in Me alone. I shall deliver you from all sins; [so] do not worry. - Bhagvad Gitaa 18.66

~~~~~*~~~~~

प्रसंऽगमजरं पाशमात्मना: कवयो विदु:।
स एव साधुषु कृतो मोक्षद्वारमपाव्रुतम्।।

If a person maintains profound love towards the Ekaantik Sant of God just as resolutely as he maintains profound love towards his own relatives, then the gateway of moksha opens for him. - Shrimad Bhaagavata 3.25.20

~~~~~*~~~~~

अनादिमूर्तिमान एष: साकारो दिव्यविग्रह:।
द्विभुज: कोटिसूर्येन्दुप्रभ: पीताम्बरधर:।।

God is always with form. His murti is divine, having the effulgence of millions of suns. He has two arms and wears a pitaambar. - Kanvasamhitaa 5.27

~~~~~*~~~~~

अथातो ब्रह्मजिज्ञासा

Now then [let us have] an enquiry about Brahman [God]. - Brahmasutra 1.1.1

~~~~~*~~~~~


नगरी नगरस्येव रथस्येव रथी यथा।
स्वशरीरस्य मेधावी क्रुत्येष्ववहितो भवेत्।।

Just as a sentinel guards the gates of a city or a charioteer a chariot, an intelligent person should take care of his body. - Charaka Samhitaa 5.103

~~~~~*~~~~~

ચાર વેદ, પુરાણ, ઈતિહાસ, એ સર્વેમાં એ જ વાર્તા છે જે, 'ભગવાન ને ભગવાનના સંત એ જ કલ્યાણકારી છે.'

In the four Vedas, the Puraanas and the Itihaasa scriptures, there is but one central principle, and that is that only God and His Sant are the means to moksha. - Vachanaamrut Gadhadaa II-59

~~~~~*~~~~~

ગમે તેવી મુશ્કેલીઓમાં પણ આપણે ટકી રહ્યા છીએ, તેનું કારણ કે આપણી પરંપરામાં શાસ્ત્રોના શબ્દો છે. આંતરિક શાંતિ અને સુખ માટે શાસ્ત્રોનું વાંચન રાખવું.

We have sustained ourselves through difficulties and challenges because of our scriptural tradition. For inner peace and happiness we must read our shaastras. - Pramukh Swami Maharaj

~~~~~*~~~~~

Source: Hindu Shaastras 2010 Calendar from BAPS Swaminarayan Sanstha

Behavior...

...of an individual, good or bad, shows who they are more than with whom they are interacting.